Wow. I just spent 10 minutes listening to and transcribing this. If you don’t have a life, just watch the part below to sing along.

“There was a man who shot the man who was the man who shot man, Cal Johnson, Cal Johnson

He wore a hat, his favorite hat, he loved that hat, he hated hats, Cal Johnson, Cal Johnson

He was a dad to zero kids, and yet he fathered five

He got shot dead a year ago and yet he’s still alive

He’s rich beyond his wildest dreams yet never had a dime

A lawman to the very end he led a life of crime

In all of his years of life on earth he never fired a gun, yet when it came to Chinese men he shot down every one

He had a horse named Bandit, and the horse’s name was Clyde

Cal Johnson was born the day he died”

Extra points if you realized that “Cal Johnson” was the actor that played David Putty in Seinfeld and Top of the Line Mac in the Apple commercial. Now, please excuse me while I go read something educational.