Louis, I think this is…March 24

Louis, I think this is the beginning of a tearful goodbye…

-A Morning in Casablanca

InsurerMarch 5

“Sir, we don’t cover anything that requires us to pay something or help someone. I believe that is unclearly stated in our policy.”

Why Vulture? Snoopy.March 5

Tee Shirt SlogansMarch 5

I’m so awesome my shrink consults *me*!
Survival of the most unlike you.
I was too anxious to see my therapist.
It makes no sense that chil is part of children.
I’m well at grammar.
Why do you approach me?
Why is that organ grinder cackling?
Resumes should not boast, “Farts quietly”
Do you have an appointment?
Mimes are like farts: silent but deadly.
Meet my butler.
Well, bleach my teeth and shuck my oysters.
How’s my evil genius laugh?
They say beauty is priceless. Then THEY can pay for my $5,683.32 makeover.
How ’bout you & me get a bite to eat at Bob’s Hack’n Meat Cooler?
My glasses are fogging up.
Here’s a random thought.
I just don’t see the point of a burial.
I can be bought. (6 figures outta do it)
I’ll see your “screw you” and raise you an “eat dirt”.
I wear short sleeve shirts under long sleeve shirts. Wait.
I’m sorry, what were you saying?
You’ve been Googled.
Let me introduce you to my staff.
It’s easier to say yes than to explain to you how you’re wrong.
I’m starting a new trend: shirts that have no meaning whatsoever.
Can we cut this short? I need to have an IM chat with someone more important.
I’m a dog lover… SO get that stupid cat away from me!
Let me take a brief moment to plug my Twitter handle. Thank you.
I look like this because some stupid college woke me up… Where’s my aspirin?
I almost survived the swine flu.
The only reason I am talking to you: no internet.
You *need* to hire me.
Why don’t you stop by my yacht later?
I wear long sleeve shirts under short sleeve shirts under long sleeve shirts. Wait.
Do pardon my satirical wit.
I’m good at looking sophisticated. Where’s my bubble pipe?
Learn to spell defiantly.
Man-bras aren’t out of style, right?
Where’s my bubble pipe?