knees

If your knees aren’t green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life. -Calvin and Hobbes

speak…

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” -Ambrose Bierce

do what you can

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. – Theodore Roosevelt

write drunk

“Write drunk, edit sober.” -Ernest Hemingway

build a ship

“If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea.” -Antoine de Saint-Exupery

man’s self-respect

“I have no right, by anything I do or say, to demean a human being in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him; it is what he thinks of himself. To undermine a man’s self-respect is a sin. ” – Antoine de Saint-Expery

judging

“We judge others by their actions, but we judge ourselves by our intentions.” -Ian Percy

democracy

“Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.” -H.L. Mencken

never interrupt

“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.” -Napoleon Bonaparte

enemies

“Have I not destroyed my enemy when I have made him into my friend?” – Abraham Lincoln

every thinking man

Supporter: “You’re sure to get the vote of every thinking man!”
Adlai Stevenson: “Thank you, but I need a majority to win.”

snowflakes

“No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.” – Voltaire

solutions

For every complex problem, there is a solution that is clear, simple, and wrong. -H. L. Mencken

malice or stupidity?

“Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity” -Robert J. Hanlon

frauds

“All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.” -H. L. Mencken

conscience

“Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking.” -H. L. Mencken

judge a man

“Judge a man not by how he treats his equals but by how he treats his inferiors.” -Charlie Chaplin in “The Great Dictator”

life backwards

“In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people’s home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!” – Woody Allen

every man

“Be pitiful, for every man is fighting a hard battle.” – Ian MacLaren

who i am

Nobody can teach me who I am. -Chinua Achebe

dragons

“Fairytales don’t teach children that dragons exist, children already know that dragons are real. Fairytales teach children that dragons can be beaten.”
–G.K. Chesterton

flash before your eyes

“Your life will flash before your eyes someday. Make sure it is worth watching.” -Gerard Way

don’t cry

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile that it happened.” -Dr. Seuss

hating love

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” – Neil Gaiman

money

“Only when the last tree has died and the last river has been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realize we cannot eat money.” – Indian Proverb

politicians

“Politicians are like diapers; they need to be changed often and for the same reason.” ― Mark Twain

the pawn and the king

“At the end of the game, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box.” -proverb

happy

“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” ― John Lennon

semicolons

Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you’ve been to college. – Kurt Vonnegut

resentment

Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. -Malachy McCourt

valuable lesson

“The most valuable lesson man has learned from his dog is to kick a few blades of grass over it and move on.” – Robert Brault

life

“Life is too important to be taken seriously.” – Oscar Wilde

the stupid are cocksure

“The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.” – Bertrand Russell

fool

Never argue with a fool – they will drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience. -unknown

happy ending

If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story. -Orson Welles

love in charge

you don’t seem to understand, love is in charge here. -empty quotes

moonwalk

I can’t moonwalk, so I’ll just slide my feet around like a buffoon. -Vulture Wit

hell

If you’re going through hell, keep going. -Winston Churchill

rule

every rule has exceptions, including this one. -empty quotes

remote for life

Life needs a mute button. And a skip button. And a rewind button. All right, just give me the whole darn remote! -empty quotes

adversity

every step towards adversity is a step in the right direction. -empty quotes

toast

“Someone should make a toast.” “We don’t have a toaster.” -overheard by a

do

we learn to do by doing -Spencer W. Kimball

a fool

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. -Mark Twain

wendle’s air

as the seconds dwindled, wendle’s air supply ceased from the choice chewed pencil lodged there. -empty quotes

bookmarks

bookmarks just encourage predictability. -empty quotes

chaos

chaos is just another way of saying that you don’t have control. -empty quotes

logic

“Bobby, logic does not apply in this case” -overheard

inevitable

she decided suddenly that the inevitable was simply fate, and she didn’t believe in fate. -empty quotes

allergies

with guns trained every which way, his allergies began to get the better of him. -empty quotes

yell about it

If you don’t have something worth yelling about, go back to the drawing board. -empty quotes

history

“history is pattern recognition” -unknown.

little finger

Vesper Lynd: If the only thing left of you was your smile and your little finger, you’d still be more of a man than anyone I’ve ever known.
James Bond: That’s because you know what I can do with my little finger…

thinking

the perfect place for thinking is a place where you’re not conciously thinking. -empty quotes

single rock

a single rock shadowed her lovely toe. -empty quotes

veil of repression

may the absence of light cleanse the palate of your soul, and lift the veil of repression induced by our manipulators….. -empty quotes

inevitable lunge

the shelf shook vigorously and his head slammed up against it, poised with clenched fists ready for the inevitable lunge. -empty quotes

club resignation

I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON’T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER. -Groucho Marx

the light

why must people walk towards the light in order for others to see it? -emptyquotes

thick luscious hair

thick luscious hair was trimmed to reveal a hidden tatto with something scrawled in the center. -empty quotes

competition

competition is one of the only forces that truly drives our society. -empty quotes

status quo

Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently.

They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo.

You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. But the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward.

And while some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.

Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do. -Apple Commercial

fist-bump

Every time you’re diplomatic in the face of rudeness, you get a fist-bump from Buddha. -@yongfook

love and suffering

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you’re getting this down -Woody Allen

crime is a sucker’s road

Get this and get it straight! Crime is a sucker’s road and those who travel it wind up in the gutter, the prison or the grave. There’s no other end, but they never learn. -Philip Marlowe

why.

why is the best qustion of all. -empty quotes

clustered cars

the cars began to accumulate in clusters outside the sanitarium, just as the lights began to flash. -empty quotes

mistake

the only mistake you make is the one you don’t learn from. -andres m. salmeron

black shoes

his intense black shoes stood alone under a sheet of desnse fog, pointing directly at me. -empty quotes

the toupee

the toupee began to inch down, and then, with a slight wind, backwards and off, into space. -empty quotes

tepid water

the tepid water smothered her lips. -empty quotes

disaster- bad?

disaster is not always such a terrible thing. -empty quotes

mask shed

the mask shed and the blade poised, lupus was jammed into a cupboard. -empty quotes

hard cover

the hard cover swung violently towards his nose. -empty quotes

lace pattern

the lace pattern on the floor turned to a horrible dream too soon. -empty quotes

the coin’s outcome

as the small metal coin flipped through the air Dot already knew its outcome. -empty quotes

two

… and then, there were two! -unknown

7:41 PM

On May 17th 2005 at 4:39 PM, Chris Malone was accepted to Yale. At 7:41 PM that same day, Buzz laughed for 8 minutes straight. -empty quotes

garlic

the intense smell of garlic dizzied him. -empty quotes

the world

suddenly, the world is not such a bad place. -empty quotes

stage

All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances… -Shakespeare

con ‘em

Con ‘em, don’t kick ‘em. -unknown

listen to me

“You don’t listen to me any more!” “I follow you on Twitter, don’t I?” -squealingrat